I Confess...Pant Size Matters to ME!

I know there will be plenty of people who disagree with my view, but it will NOT change the fact that pant size matters to me.

I admit, I haven't always had a healthy attitude about my body image. In fact, as a young girl and into my early 20s my body image and self-worth were intertwined. I fully believed I had to be perfect and beautiful in order to be worth anything. I had NO idea my sense of worth could be separate from how I feel about my body. That truth could have saved me a world of struggle. 

I started my fitness journey at the age of 17. My mom bought one of those cheap ski machines that she used from time to time. It had blue pedals that slid forwards and backwards with two handles that also moved back and forth. You could turn a dial to increase or decrease the resistance. I lugged that baby to my room and used it every day after school. 

My mom also had the Sweatin' to the Oldies videos and, you guessed it, I did those as well! To this day I can't hear "It's My Party" without wanting to break into the workout moves!! 

After I graduated High School I worked at a Church Camp for several summers. We had to walk ALL over the camp ground, up and down hills, which totaled several miles each day. Believe it or not, I strapped on ankle weights and wore them EVERY time we walked, except when I was in heels. (I'm crazy, not stupid!)

When I moved from my parents house I no longer had Richard Simmons or the ski machine to rely on, so I used my favorite songs (on cassette, of course) and created my own fitness routines. I started researching fitness so I could put together more effective routines.

I continued with fitness even through my pregnancies. As soon as I was released after giving birth I was right back at it. I trained each of my children to respect my time while working out. It was anything but easy...however, it was a priority for me and so I MADE it happen. I used to go to bed in the clothes I would work out in the next morning. I put my shoes on the moment I woke up. This way, I was READY to workout! I figured, "I'm already dressed for it, I might as well get to it." (Don't tell anyone...but I still do this!)

I needed absolutely NO support or encouragement from others to stay on course. I know...completely disgusting, isn't it? I have a driven personality and I HIGHLY value being disciplined. These two things worked in my favor where fitness was concerned. I was HAPPY with my body and HAPPY with life, in general. I had a great attitude and outlook. 

Along the way, things changed. I lost sight of who I really am and made the HUGE mistake of listening to other voices, other definitions, other outlooks and ideas that were contrary to mine. The problem in listening to them is that I began to think that I needed to be more like this person or that person. I let people tell me that I should lighten up on the exercise and healthy stuff. I let people's opinions matter too much and I began to lose myself. 

There are a lot of people who don't care what size they are as long as they have more energy or can run around with their children or grandchildren or simply make it through the day better. Some don't eat certain things because they have strong convictions about eating them. Others couldn't care less about what they eat at all and would MUCH rather focus on other things. There are people who judge thin people and people who judge fat people. There are people who are built large and make it a point to say they would rather be that way than thin. (However, thin people RARELY come out and say they'd rather be thin than large because the large people would go OFF on them. HORRIBLE double standard that drives me crazy!!!) News flash big gals: It's JUST as rude for YOU to rip on thin people!

I'm a small person. My normal size is much smaller than the average size 10. There are SO many people who would be happy with a size 10 or even larger. Many people are ok and feel completely satisfied with excess fat on their bodies. MORE POWER TO THEM (and you if this is you.) But I am NOT one of them. I don't like excess body fat on me. I LOVE muscles. I LOVE the way they look. I love the way they feel. I LOVE muscles! I love being strong even when I'm little. And I'm willing to eat different than people who don't care to have what I want. 

For the longest time I got tired of standing out in a crowd. For some STUPID reason, I convinced myself it was better to blend in. I was wrong. Actually, it's better to be ME and count the cost and pay the price whatever that means! Because abandoning myself was the worst thing I've ever done. 

So, this is me. I LIKE being thin. I DON'T like being chubby. I DO care about how my clothes fit. I WANT to be fit, strong, sexy and confident as I walk down the street. (That's a weird phrase...I rarely actually walk down a street.) I don't care if YOU think I look fine the way I am because I'm not trying to be fit for YOU, it's for me. I live with myself 24/7. I need to be happy with who I am. As long as it is within my power to do so, I want to be a size 6/8. I am happiest with my body at that size and no larger. I don't care about how much I weigh; the scale is my enemy because weight fluctuates day to day and is a poor indicator of health. Plus, I have a lot of muscle on my body and I am heavier than I look. 

When I throw caution to the wind where food is concerned and eat whatever I want whenever I want I feel horrible. This may be freedom for some, but it is bondage for this gal. I LOVE being disciplined with my foods because when I'm not I feel like a slave to my cravings. And feeling like a slave makes me miserable. If I'm being REALLY honest, I don't even believe in "all things in moderation". I'm of the firm belief that some things should NEVER be put in my body...or rarely. I also have STRONG convictions about certain things like not feeding my body poison. (This often drives my family crazy because of some of the restrictions I've put on groceries I'm willing to purchase...but since I'm the one buying them, that's how it's going to be. I love them and care about their bodies.)

I LOVE fitness. I never used to struggle with wanting to workout. I do these days, but I still LOVE the way I feel being involved in a good program and getting REALLY sweaty and stinky! I LOVE punching and kicking and jumping (as long as my bladder is empty first!), and challenging myself to go a little harder this time. I LOVE the way it makes me feel accomplished. I've even learned not to overdo it like I used to in my younger days. I love talking about fitness and healthy food and biochemistry and how it ALL works together. I am a total fitness geek! These days, I DO need more support and encouragement than I did years ago, but I'm ok with that because I LOVE relating to people with like interests. 

I am perfectly fine with you being different from me and not wanting the same things for you as I want for me. I don't expect you to be like me. I don't expect you to desire the same results as me. I can accept you exactly the way you are. I don't feel the need to require anyone else to believe what I believe or want what I want. This is just about me taking a stand and remembering who I REALLY am. 

Don't get me wrong. Although I do NOT like what I see in the mirror these days, it doesn't mean I hate myself. I love who I am as a person. I have completely severed my body image and self-worth. My worth is grounded in Christ and not one thing, including some pudge on my body, will ever change that in me. I am completely at peace with who is on the inside and I deeply desire to feel the same about what I see on the outside. I guess it's the same reason why I color my hair and put make-up on. I want to present a certain picture to the world. That picture doesn't define my worth, but it helps me enjoy being in this body so why not?

For too long I let too many voices tell me I should be a certain way. I'm done. I'm going to be me and if people don't like it, they are free to walk away. That will leave more room for those who WANT to be a part of my world and the REAL me! 

Thanks for sticking with me to the end of this! I feel incredibly empowered and I hope you do, too. Where ever YOU stand, be YOU! Life is only worth living if we are living it authentically! Go for it! 

Where do I stand on Homosexuality?

Personally, I have NOTHING against homosexuals! They don't make me sick to see them together and I don't get angry when they show affection toward one another. GASP! I know...some who read this will probably think I'm not a TRUE Believer any more. God knows better so they can think what they want. ;0)

I do NOT believe someone chooses to be attracted to people of the same sex any more than I choose to be attracted to men. I believe there are so many things that factor into this that we can't possibly know why it happens. Our world is SO far from what God created it to be that each and every one of us is a long, long way off from being the person He created us to be. That's why GRACE is necessary. I believe the "choice" comes into play when someone decides they will "act" on the attraction.

 This issue of homosexuality and the heartlessness the church has had on those who deal with it has always bothered me. Don't get me wrong. I stand on God's Word here...homosexuality is NOT acceptable behavior in His sight. I will stand on that as truth regardless of my own personal feelings on the matter because HE determines right from wrong; I am NOT my own moral compass. But at the same time, I have unanswered torment (and simply choose to trust God's Sovereignty) about so many things that pertain to homosexual relationships (for people) who come to Christ and decide to be obedient to His plan for their lives. It saddens me to think of the broken families and relationships that result from such a choice...because it would be so self-righteous for Christians to think a homosexual relationship is only about sex. Give me a break! Many of them MAY be...but so are many heterosexual relationships. I'm NOT sad about those ones...but what about those people who are raising children and giving them a good home. What about those who truly love their partner and have invested time and effort into their relationship...much like heterosexuals. What about their pain. What about the agony they must feel in those moments?

Please don't tell me they are not real families. THAT is a horrible thing to say. I can't STAND it when a Christian has the audacity to say something like that about another family. Of course, they are families...and they have the capacity to love JUST as much as you do...and sometimes more than many Believers (at least the high and mighty ones) I can honestly say, I'd rather see a baby go to a homosexual couple who will love and invest in that child than to see it aborted. If you think I'm evil for that...well, talk to God about it because I don't want to hear such foolishness. Determining a person's worth based on who they have sex with is RIDICULOUS to say the least...I mean...is that what YOUR worth is determined by??? Honestly, if God's grace is sufficient for my evil thoughts, desires and selfishness then it is certainly enough for the homosexual.
I have always struggled with this topic. Because I know homosexuals...and I like and care about them very much...and I would stand beside them against you (Believers) if you started getting on your soapbox around them. I believe the way to impact this community of people with the love of Christ is to...well, SHOW them the love of Christ. Duh!

Here's another shocker: I can completely understand why homosexuals fight so hard to have marriage rights. Now, I KNOW some in that community have an agenda that will wipe marriage out for good...and BOO on those people. I pray about that and believe God is greater than they are...and nothing will happen without FIRST going through HIS hand. BUT...believing their behavior is acceptable, many are simply asking to be treated as "equal" to you. I get that...it's kinda strange because how can you have "Holy Matrimony" when you are doing something God objects to...? Anyway...But I get it...and I feel compassion for them. And I understand why they want to be accepted and not be defined by who they sleep with. I don't believe it's appropriate to change what God has created. Therefore, I disagree with the homosexual communities fight for "marriage" rights. But my disagreeing with it is not because I'm sickened by them or think they don't deserve to live happily or whatever they think I intend...it's simply because, God, as the Creator of the Universe AND human beings AND sex AND marriage, said it was to be defined in a particular way only. Since HE created it...He also gets to define it and I believe it's incredibly dangerous for man to step up, shake their fist at the Creator and say, "YOU GOT THIS ONE WRONG!" Redefining is a huge mistake and will have huge ramifications. This is why I stand on the Biblical definition of marriage. There's no hate involved or a lack of caring about the homosexual...I simply choose to honor God and HIS plan above all things...including my own sensibilities.

Honestly, my heart breaks for the homosexual community. Do I feel pity?...no. But I do feel compassion. I know what it is like to have a temptation and desire that I did NOT choose to have. I know the guilt and shame of giving into such desires. But when I do so...there aren't a whole bunch of people screaming in opposition at me, condemning me and trying to take things away from me I feel I deserve. I can't imagine the pain I would endure if this were what greeted me.

I will never turn someone away as a friend because they are homosexual. I will never teach my children to oppose them or say rude things to them. I will continue to teach my children what I've always taught them...love and acceptance. NOT tolerance...because tolerance is a cheapened version of GRACE. I teach my children TRUE grace that says, "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me." I will teach them their need for grace so they can love others who don't yet realize their own need for grace. I choose to teach my children how to stand on the truth in God's word while loving the people who oppose God.

I believe the problem for many Believers is they have forgotten who the REAL enemy is. People aren't the enemy. SATAN is the enemy and he is devouring people left and right. I LOVE the song "Jesus, Friend of Sinners" by Casting Crowns. It describes the Church quite well.

Here's what I have to say to those who are homosexual and/or simply stand beside them in the belief that their lifestyle is perfectly fine. Just because someone disagrees with your choices and stands on their own belief that the Bible is the final authority does NOT mean we hate you. I'm equally sick and tired of hearing you scream at the top of your lungs about that. I don't hate you any more than I hate the person who lives with someone outside of marriage (and I don't hate them either!!!). It's ridiculous to assume EVERYONE who opposes your behavior HATES you and is against your happiness. I realize there are MANY homophobic people in the world...I get it, I get it...but NOT everyone is. So, really, get off YOUR high horse and stop telling me I have to agree with you in order for you to be happy. That's nonsense. And it is very wrong for you to try and force me to go against my relationship with God in order for YOU to live the life you want to live. It is absolutely true...you are free to make your choices and live your life and I will not infringe upon that as long as it does not require me to go against what I believe to be God's truth. I mean, really, what kind of Follower would I be if I simply ignored HIS Word to make someone feel better? A lousy one.

Honestly, I'm tired of both sides of this issue. BOTH sides have done and said AWFUL things to and about one another. Christians have forgotten their own need for grace and homosexuals and their supporters have required things we (as true believers) simply cannot stand behind AND honor God. We just can't. NOTE: I am NOT saying God doesn't save or love the homosexual. Christ died for ALL of us. IF a person surrenders to Christ His grace is sufficient regardless of the sin. I even believe God STILL loves a homosexual who has turned to Him and yet still struggles with this issue. I know this because He still loves me and has compassion on me even though I struggle with the same temptations over and over.

If you are wanting to argue with me and call me names because I believe homosexual behavior is wrong...don't bother. No amount of words from you will erase the truth of God's word in my heart. And THAT is not condemnation...it's just TRUTH. I will NOT side with anyone but Him...regardless of what that means for the behaviors of man. At the same time...I do not believe it makes a person "less than" somehow...as others seem to think. I don't believe the sin of homosexuality is uglier than my own sin and need for grace. I don't think I'm "better" than anyone else.

I think people matter and relationships are the most important things to invest in while we are alive on this earth. Truth without love comes across as condemnation...truth in love transforms the world! I choose the latter.

Common sense, anyone?

I received a phone call today from Micah's teacher. I have to admit...when I saw the name on the I.D. I outwardly groaned before picking up the phone and pleasantly saying, "Hello".

My son's teacher greeted me with that tone we mom's DREAD all the while assuring me, "Micah's fine...BUT..." (I don't remember exactly, but I can pretty much bet I rolled my eyes.)

Let me start by saying this: My husband and I have come to the conclusion that Micah's teacher does NOT like him. Remember, we've got 2 older children, a Senior and a Sophmore, so this isn't our first rodeo. She doesn't like him. It's very obvious and we've known since about the 2nd month of school...if it even took that long to figure out. When you have a strong-willed child who is wise beyond his years, argumentative as all get-out, quick thinking, EXTREMELY literal and detail oriented, you've got a child who is going to have clashes with others. It's just the way it goes. Add to that our particular child possesses a high level of confidence and is NOT intimidated by, well...anyone! We get it...he's a HUGE challenge. I think we know this better than anyone since we are the ones trying to survive...er...I mean, raise him.

We've had several "run-ins" with Micah's teacher and what we've noticed is she is entirely concerned about HIS impact on everyone from his actions to his words yet shows little to no concern about how he feels, thinks or experiences what happens around him.

So...getting back to my morning interruption, ahem...phone call.

Teacher: "I just wanted Micah to share with you what he said to a little girl in his class."

I will spare you the details of the slightly confusing, hard to follow conversation I had with my very distracted son who didn't quite understand why he was even having to talk with me. (Whew! Take a breath!) I will just move to the reason for the call. Micah, in frustration, said, "I wish I could put duct tape on your mouth to keep you quiet!"

When asked why he said that he explained that it was something I or his brothers or someone said to HIM and it seemed appropriate for this situation. (Made me smile but I kept my giggle to myself. I didn't want to egg him on and get us BOTH in trouble.)

We had a conversation about how to handle frustrations and how to respond to those we are frustrated with and then his teacher got back on the phone.

I have to be honest, I was confused as to what she wanted from me. So, I asked her. She said, "I just thought you should know what he said." Still confused I responded, "Annnnnnd why did you think I should know this right now?" To which she replied (here's the kicker), "I don't know...he clenched his jaw and his hands were in fists and, I don't know...I perceived it as a threat." A THREAT???? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

I took a breath and said, "A threat? He's 6 years old. I do not believe for one moment that he intends to do bodily harm to her or anyone else. Did she feel threatened?"

Teacher, "Well, no. She's from another country. She probably didn't even know what he said."

Me, "Then why are we having this conversation?" (Doesn't this seem like a logical question???)

Teacher, "Because other children heard him say it and 2 of them told me about it. I'm concerned about the perceived threat they may be feeling."

Me, (I deserve a gold medal for my ability to KEEP MY COOL and not say to this teacher PRECISELY what I was thinking about her ability to reason things out at that moment...for those who know me, you understand what a monumental accomplishment that was for me) Instead I said, "I'm wondering if it has more to do with the fact that 6 and 7 year olds go out of their way to get one another in trouble. They tend to tattle on EVERYONE for EVERYTHING. Micah comes home daily and tells me about who told on who. He even tells me about HIM telling on his friends. Don't you think it could possibly have more to do with that than them feeling threatened?"

She skirted around this line of questioning by telling me I will need to trust her judgement on how she handles the tattling in her class. Didn't make an ounce of sense given the context of the conversation we were having at the time but I let it go and didn't tell her I don't really trust her at all, which I really don't at this point.

I then went to my second point: "Where is the concern for my son's obvious frustration or distress?"

Teacher, "What do you mean?"

Me, "You said Micah had his jaw clenched and his hands were in fists at his side. That is an obvious sign of frustration or distress. Did you take any time at all to talk to him and find out what he was feeling and why instead of assuming he was being threatening?" She replied in the negative to which I responded, "I appreciate the call and I spoke with Micah about how to handle our feelings of frustration and the people who frustrate us. I'm not sure what you want me to do here, but I can assure I'm NOT going to make a bigger deal out of this than what it is."

I still don't know what she really wanted from me except to side with her against my child. If I thought for a MOMENT he was being threatening to anyone I would be at that school in a heartbeat dealing with it. He's 6...and I'm not even fully convinced he knows what duct tape is!

His teacher basically apologized for "bothering" me and made sure I understood that Micah would be pulling a card for what he said. This is nothing new...he pulls cards for LOTS of things he says. This is not the first time she has had zero concern for Micah while only caring about his impact on others. It gets tiring, but WE walk through those things with him and help him deal with it, so we aren't overly concerned about HER impact on HIM. And what's better...school is closer to done than not! We are counting the days.

Why am I writing about this? Because it seems like common sense just doesn't exist in a LOT of classrooms in this Nation. It immediately reminded me of the boy who got suspended for chewing a pop-tart into the shape of a gun. Remember that? The school then offered counseling for the other students who "witnessed" such a heinous act (please know that was DRIPPING with sarcasm). I was actually tempted to ask Micah's teacher if they would be offering therapy to the two "traumatized" students...but I wisely held my tongue. What is going on? When did it become a  rule that 6 year olds are no longer allowed to act like a 6 year old? I mean..REALLY!!! It's not like he's 16 and threatening to shoot anyone! He's 6...and 6 year olds don't always know how to deal with frustration. That's why the ADULTS in their lives are supposed to be MORE educated than they are and able to walk them through it...teaching them how to deal effectively and respectfully. Unfortunately, we have too many grown-ups who don't have a clue how to deal with the heart of a child. They are only concerned with controlling behavior. How incredibly sad.

I'm not sure what kind of judgments were being made on my home and my children, but based on the results of my 18 and 16 year olds, we've not done a perfect job but we've done pretty well. After all, neither one of them have duct taped a single person... EVER!!

Boy, are we looking forward to that last day of school!

The SKINNY on the Jolly Fat man...or at least my take on it.

When Jared, who is now 18, was 4 years old he asked me the dreaded question, "Mom, is Santa REAL?". I had prepared myself for the answer to this question because I knew he would ask it someday. I will never forget. We were in our car leaving the church we attended in Auburn and when I turned around and looked at him he was waiting for my answer, eyes wide with anticipation, and he was so small and innocent. I knew he would hang on my every word. So this was my response: "Yes, Santa is real like Mickey Mouse is real and Barney (yes, he watched that ridiculous purple dinosaur) is real." Jared sat back in his seat and said, "Ok. I think I understand." I nodded and started to pull out of the parking spot when Jared LEAPED forward seeking clarification, "WAIT! So, he's not real, real like people are real but he's real?" I hesitantly responded, "Yeeeeeeees, do you understand?" He sat back with a satisfied, "Yep."

Jared never really asked if Santa actually brings toys to our house. And we never really talked about it. Perhaps, that wasn't the most responsible choice looking back...but hey, at the time I wasn't looking back...I was living in the moment and wasn't sure what the right thing to do was. Apparently, I avoided. 

Years later he told me, "I didn't believe Santa delivered gifts to our house, but then (when he was a few years older) I saw the website that shows where Santa is in the world and thought, 'It MUST be true.'" Kids are so adorable. Somewhere along the way, he realized that even with the website, it was still just pretend. 

With Quinten, it didn't go so smoothly. They are totally different children and view EVERYTHING from such different perspectives. Quinten has a tendency to be more black and white, all or nothing. I confess, I changed my tactics with him and decided I would let HIM decide if he believed or not. This seemed like such a GREAT, MATURE and HIP way to handle it at the time. Looking back...not so much...but again...I didn't have the benefit of hindsight and apparently I hadn't realized that praying about such things mattered. I hadn't come to the understanding that GOD knows my children so much better than I do and seeking Him for what is best for EACH child brings about a much better result than simply thinking I already know what's best. 

When Quinten asked that all encompassing question my response THIS time was, "What do YOU believe about Santa?" Goodness, that sounds so supportive! He decided to believe that Santa is real and delivers gifts to us. I have to admit, I was excited about this because it makes Christmas so MAGICAL. That's what everyone says anyway. Quinten was probably 4 when we had this discussion. For several years, we did the "Santa's going to deliver your gifts so you better go right to sleep Christmas" and it was a lot of fun, I will admit. 

One year, Quinten had a specific toy at the top of his list (the list he kept in his head and neglected to tell me how significant said list REALLY was). Needless to say, I missed how important an orange stuffed animal named SCORCHIO, who interacted with it's owner, really was. On Christmas Eve we were at my parents house and had finished opening all the gifts. I look over at Quinten and he is fighting tears. I could tell he was making every effort to NOT burst into tears and seem ungrateful for the gifts he DID have when all he could think about was the ONE gift he didn't have...the beloved SCORCHIO. I walked over and kneeled beside him wrapping my arms around him. I asked what was wrong and he hesitantly explained, fearing I would be angry at him for being ungrateful. My heart BROKE as I held my child and heard him say, "Maybe Santa will bring me one" knowing there would NOT be a SCORCHIO under that tree. What did I do? I had my brother-in-law, Darold, call our home phone and leave a message from, "Santa" and it went something like this: "Hi, Quinten, this is Santa and I need to let you know that I found a present in the bottom of my bag that I missed when I was delivering the presents to your family. I will be mailing this gift to you but it won't arrive for a day or two! I'm so sorry I missed this one because it's something you REALLY wanted. Merry Christmas!" 

Then, the day after Christmas, I hunted that weird little orange toy down, wrapped it and put it under the tree. Christmas was saved! Quinten was a happy camper and that's all that matters right? I used to think so. 

Fast forward a couple of years to when we started Home Schooling. That first year (Jared was in 5th grade and Quinten was in 2nd) I decided we would learn about the real Saint Nicolas. We sat around the dining room table talking about how Saint Nick left presents for little boys and girls who would have otherwise received nothing for Christmas. I was telling them how important it is that we, the body of Christ, meet the needs for little boys and girls at Christmas so they know they are loved. I said, "We need to buy gifts for boys and girls whose parents don't have enough money to buy them. We need to be like Christ and give freely to others." I was ON TOP of it! I'm telling you, I could practically hear angels singing as I spoke, it was THAT good! I never expected what came next.

 Quinten said, "Won't Santa bring them presents?" My stomach did a flip-flop and I wanted to run and hide as I sat there looking at the face of this child who was about to have his heart crushed.Nevertheless, I could NOT lie to him. I HAD to tell him the truth. I did and he sat and listened with tears running down his face. 

That is one of those moments I regret. Don't get me wrong. I don't regret telling him the truth. I regret having told him a lie to begin with, no matter how "innocent", sweet, and fun the lie may have seemed at the time. I sure wish I had had the wisdom to pray first and listen to God's response. I'm convinced He would have led me to tell the truth to Quinten because God knew Quinten would have trust issues as he grew. I added to his trust issues by lying to him about something that was so important in his world. I realized in telling a child Santa one thing when they are little only to reveal the truth about it when they are older can lead some children to have trust issues with God. How are they to know the difference...how will they grasp that God is real if their parents lied about Santa and encouraged them to believe in him. Some children will reject God based on this "innocent" lie told my parents. 

So, when we had Micah we decided it was important to pray about all these decisions that we simply made on our own with the other two. We have an advantage over many people in that there is a decade between Quinten and Micah. We have the benefit of "hindsight" in raising our youngest child. We are much more informed...and we seek God about EVERYTHING. Not because we can't make a good decision on our own. BUT because God created these children...so clearly He knows them in a way we don't. His guidance is necessary in raising these boys to be the men GOD created them to be. He knows what will hurt their hearts and what will inspire them. Assuming I know without seeking HIM makes me very unwise and will harm my children in the long run. 

With Micah we decided to just never tell him Santa would be bringing him gifts and when he asked we would tell the truth. We believe Santa is a very fun character and a fun part of Christmas, but is not the central focus of it. We enjoy movies about Santa and decorations and such but he is NOT the magic of Christmas. Jesus is. 

I believe it's wrong to teach my child that Santa is watching him. I believe, as a Christian, it's wrong to tell my child that Santa can see every boy and girl in the world. God is the ONLY one who can do this. HE is the only one with the power to see all things and all people at one time. If I teach my child that Santa is this way and they find out later he isn't, how easy will it be for him to dismiss this reality about GOD. 

I believe it's wrong to teach my child that gifts are based on behavior. Micah and I talked about both of these issues the other day as he was singing some songs about Santa. He said, "Mom, the song says, 'He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.'" I told him only God can see you like that and He not only knows your behavior, but also knows your heart. He knows the things you don't say out loud and the things you don't tell anyone else. He knows all of that and loves you no matter what. 

Then we discussed the second issue in that statement that will lead a child away from the truth about God or at the least, cause confusion. John 3:16 states, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life." No where in this verse (or any other) does it say salvation is earned by good behavior. Yet, from their first Christmas, so many parents teach their child that gifts are based on whether they are good or bad. REALLY? As Christians this creates a problem because we teach our children that Jesus is the ultimate gift. When I stopped and thought about how I had led Jared and Quinten to believe this lie (as unintentional as it was) and how it COULD impact thier view and understanding of God, it made my heart hurt. We have made it a point to teach Micah (and Jared and Quinten for that matter) that they receive gifts as an outward expression of our love for them and is never based on their behavior. (This does NOT mean we won't ground them from said gifts if their behavior warrants it...but that's another story altogether.) The gift of Salvation through Jesus Christ is just that...a gift. It can NOT be earned. If it had to be earned, we would be in trouble because scripture tells us we have all fallen short of the glory of God because we have all sinned. Personally, I believe it is WAY more important for my child to grow up grasping the truth about where he stands with Christ rather than trying to create a magical moment at Christmas with Santa. As I said, the magic of Christmas is that the Son who created the world and all things in it, came to this earth, wrapped in flesh to bring Salvation to a lost world. Santa can't come close to that!

We have repeatedly talked to Micah about NOT telling other children the truth about Santa. It has been no small feat getting him to respect this because he likes to argue and he is a "truth seeker" like his mama. We've had countless conversations about respecting other people's beliefs and NEVER being the one to tell a child, "Santa isn't real". We tell him each parent has to make the decision on what they will teach their child and some parents want their children to believe in Santa. Even though we don't agree with this, we will respect it. This year, we can see that he understands how telling another child would hurt that child. He is developing empathy for others and told me the following story. I think it's my favorite Christmas story to date because it encompasses what we've worked hard at instilling in our children. 

Micah: Mom, when me and Hallie (his 12 yr old cousin) were at Gibby's and Gamper's (my parents) for craft night I told them I want Home Alone for Christmas and Hallie said, "You could tell Santa you want it." and I just said, "No, I'm not going to tell Santa that."

Me: You didn't tell her you don't believe in Santa?

Micah: No, mom. I'm not going to hurt her like that. I think she still believes in him. (she doesn't, by the way) Instead of telling her Santa isn't real, I just told her I wouldn't be telling him I want Home Alone. I didn't say anything that would tell her he's not real. 

Me: Micah, that was so thoughtful of you. Thank you for considering her feelings and being gracious with your response. I'm so proud of you for that. 

We've had people, even family, disagree with our decision to tell Micah the truth. Some think we are ruining his ability to believe in magic. Ok. I'd rather he be grounded in the reality of Christ, which BLOWS magic out of the water. The power of the Holy Spirit is comparable to NOTHING! It is so much greater than any thing created by man. Micah DOES know the story of Saint Nicolas. It's an important story and he understands that modern day "Santa" was inspired by St. Nick's willingness to give and make a difference. But Saint Nicolas was just a man and Santa is just a character and Jesus is the REAL story behind giving.

 In my 18 years of parenting I've come to believe that NOTHING should be introduced into my children's lives as reality that will have the potential to water down the truth about God in any way or that will confuse them as they grow and begin to grasp the truth about Jesus Christ. If that means we miss out on some of the fun, I can live with that because my goal as a parent is to impact the eternal lives of my children and to raise them to love God with all their hearts, souls, minds and strength. Don't get me wrong...we LIKE to have fun and seek to do so. We are just much more selective in what we are willing to introduce into our world of fun. And don't even get me started on that Elf on the Shelf! I won't even go there. Ha!

Catchin' up...

I haven't written a blog all summer! YIKES!! It's too hard to keep up with everything and certainly hard to focus with my extremely active 5 year old chattering in my ear non-stop!

All-in-all it's been a pretty good summer, but I must admit...I'm ready for the boys to get to school. I've got some plans, after all. I've decided to get my certification as a Holistic Health Practitioner because I truly yearn to help as many people live healthier, fuller, more productive lives as I possibly can! I'm CHOMPING at the bit to get started.

This has been a summer of triumph for my family! My son, Jared moved back home and is settling in nicely. If someone would be so kind as to hire him for a good job that would be WONDERFUL! That boy needs a job in a BAD way. On the bright side, he's getting LOTS of practice filling out applications. Not to mention, he is HIGHLY motivated to work because he has no life without money and outside of his basic needs, we refuse to provide him with any. This may seem mean to some...but we see it as MOTIVATION! Being bored out of your mind, unable to enjoy entertaining things and having your phone shut off can be incredibly motivating. Besides, if we paid for those things why would he need a job???

Quinten is taking Driver Education and Kevin and I were both MORTIFIED to discover he will still have to take the driving test even though he took Driver Ed! What??? A mere 25 years ago, if you did well enough in DE, you didn't have to take the test! Those were the good 'ole days for sure! He is doing well, and I don't grip the door quite as tightly any more. It would be really nice to be able to have a break installed on the passenger's side...that way, I wouldn't drive my foot through the floor of my van every time he drives me around. (hee hee hee hee...seriously, though...I've had a serious issue with anxiety since he started driving!)

Micah has been bold and courageous this summer and I'm astounded by him. He has overcome so many fears from climbing up and propelling down a 25' rock wall to getting his face wet and eventually jumping into water over his head and tackling the water slides at the North Side Pool! I LOVE watching this kid work through these fears...he names them, talks about what it will take to overcome them (Mommy and Daddy give LOTS of pep talks), then decides to GO FOR IT! I honestly believe one of the GREATEST influences in his little life has been watching Wipeout! I KNOW!!! Crazy...but true. He used to be SO fearful of EVERYTHING...but he liked Wipeout so I decided to record them for him to watch. In his typical, obsessive fashion, he watched each episode over and over and over. As he watched the participants get knocked all around time and time again only to get back up and try again, I believe a switch was flipped inside his little brain. He realized he could do the same with many things in his life. I've learned so much watching the courage of my 5 year old son!

Kevin's busiest season is summer, so he's work, work, working away. In his "spare" time, he takes Micah to football (I take him to gymnastics) and tries to take both Jared and Quinten out driving. He is also working (with the help of our dear friend, Randy Graham) to build two rooms and a lounging area in the basement for Jared and Quinten. Every once in a while we get to sneak off to have dinner and watch a movie. He even stays awake for the movies we watch at the Theater!

We are still hoping for a few more visits to the pool, gatherings with friends and meals together at the dinner table before the craziness of the school year sets in and everyone goes in different directions. I'm going to make the most of the rest of the summer while I look forward to working out without interruptions, curling up with a good book...in the middle of the day, watching a GROWN-UP movie while folding the laundry (which also means I will get the laundry done in ONE day!), pursuing my passion for Holistic health, and hearing about all the exciting things that happen in my kids lives throughout the school year. I'm also hoping fall will bring more time with my husband...dare I dream that he stays awake during a movie at HOME!!!! I know, I have such HIGH hopes! But I believe it can happen...I believe! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Have a wonderful week...or two...not sure when I'll make it back here again!Until next time...live healthy!

What is Whole Food Nutrition, Anyway? Part 4

Nuts and seeds have gotten a bad reputation due to their high fat content so let's set the record straight. Not all fats are bad! We actually NEED fat from our diet in order to be healthy. The type of fat is what matters. Nuts contain the RIGHT kind of fat! Also, it's typically advised that we eat 1 oz of nuts per day. More than that might lead to weight gain in some people. 

A VERY important note to make here is nuts and seeds are ONLY beneficial when raw or lightly toasted in your oven. Roasting nuts and seeds destroys the oils in them and makes them rancid. When you consume rancid foods, it will be damaging on a cellular level. You won't feel it's impact right away, but it will build up over time and can cause inflammation and other degenerative issues. 

Let's talk about nuts first. They ALL have benefits, so as long as you aren't allergic, use a variety of them. Here's a list of nuts to choose from:

Walnut family: Black walnut, White walnut (Butternut), English walnut, Japanese walnut, Hickory nut, Pecan

Cashew family: Cashew, Pistachio

Pine family: Pine nuts, Juniper berries, Pinyons 

Beech family: Chestnut, Chinkapin

Sapucaya family: Brazil nut, Paradise nut

Birch family: Filbert, Hazelnut

Protea family: Macademia Nut

Legume family: Peanut

Rose family: Almond

Now, before you ask, I have NOT tried all these nuts...but I HAVE tried a lot of them. I'm not even sure they are all available where I live...probably are somewhere!

Clearly, by the list above, it would be easy to get a variety of nuts into your diet. One of my favorite healthy snacks is a small handful of nuts with 1 square of dark chocolate (70% or more). Yummy!

Walnuts are high in protein, iron and have a decent amount of Omega-3 fats. They are a wonderful anti-inflammatory if you can digest them. I chop them up and add them to salads for added flavor and texture. So delicious! Walnuts are also a lubricant for the lungs and intestines and support the brain and adrenal glands. 

Pistachio nuts lubricate the intestines, purify the blood and can aid in relieving constipation. 

Brazil Nuts support immune fuction while Hazelnuts strengthen the stomach and act as a tonic for the whole body.

If you choose to munch on Macademia nuts, beware of the potential for weight gain if eaten in high quantity as they are high in fat. However, if you can eat them in moderation, they are great for helping to lower cholesterol or help maintain healthy levels and are low carb.

It is believed that almonds contain an anti-carcinogenic property. It is recommended to consume 6 almonds per day to help fight cancer. 

Moving on to the topic of SEEDS! Just like nuts, seeds are a wonderful addition to a whole food diet. They have amazing qualities you should know about!!

Flax seeds have a high level of Omega-3 fats. These powerful little seeds support the immune system, contain antioxidants and can prevent constipation. In order to digest flax seeds and receive the benefits, you have to grind the seeds. Here's the kicker, though...the nutrients in flax seeds begins to break down shortly after they are ground into flax meal. Therefore, it's best to invest in a grinder (I bought a small coffee/seed grinder for $25 about 5 years ago at a health food store) and grind your seeds just before use. I grind 1 tablespoon of flax seeds in my grinder each morning and add it to my Shakeology for breakfast. 

Are you still under the impression that milk is the best source of calcium? If so, you are mistaken becasuse tahini (which is sesame seed paste) is actually THE richest and most bioavailable source of calcium! Tahini is one of the main ingredients in Hummus. 

Did you know that pumpkin seeds help fight intestinal parasites (especially roundworm and tapeworm)? I need to buy a bucket of those babies JUST IN CASE!!!They are also a good source of Omega-3s AND they are beneficial if a man suffers from impotence or prostrate enlargement!

If you choose sunflower seeds for their rare Vitamin D content (found in very few plant sources), be sure to buy only what you can eat within just a few days as they lose their nutritional value quickly. 

I didn't go into all the nutrient benefits of these amazing foods but they are loaded with other vitamins and minerals not listed. You can easily find out more about each one or all by doing a google search. 

There's one seed I want to spend some time on because I believe they are the most beneficial seed on the planet. You've heard of them...I promise. You even know a song about them. It goes like this...Ch-, ch-, ch-, chia! That's right...Chia seeds!!! (Pictured: Chia seeds mixed with water)

Chia seeds are a definite SUPER food if ever there was one. It's a gelatinous food (when mixed with liquids it becomes gel-like) which moves through the intestinal tract, absorbing toxins and releasing them through the colon. Because they become gelatinous when wet, chia seeds can be used in baking to improve the quality and benefits of the foods you bake. Just replace 1/4 cup flour with 1/4 cup ground Chia seeds. To replace 1/2 of the oil required in baked goods such as muffins and pancakes. To make the mixture pictured above just add 1/4 cup chia seeds to 2 cups water and mix until seeds are suspended in the water. This gel can be refrigerated for up to 2 weeks.

These fantastic little seeds are PACKED with Omega-3s, even more than flax seeds and do NOT require being ground before consuming. You can mix chia seeds in water and add a little lemon or lime juice to make a popular Mexican drink called, "Chia Fresca". 

I've added chia seeds to smoothies, salads, pasta dishes, soups (as a thickener), yogurt...just about anything I can think of! They definitely help increase my energy. I love them and always have them in my home since they are naturally gluten free and so beneficial. 

One last note about Chia seeds. Consider adding these seeds if you are wanting to lose some extra pounds. They expand in your system and help you feel full and satisfied longer while also supporting healthy blood sugar levels.  Oh, yes...I just said that! Go on...go get some! 

I can honestly say chia seeds, flax seeds, walnuts and almonds are a staple in my home. I use many other nuts and seeds here and there for variety. I honestly believe they contribute a lot to our diet and let's face it...they taste GREAT! 

Now, don't forget...nuts and seeds should be in their raw form. You can lightly toast and salt (sea salt please) if you wish, but it's best to learn to eat them raw. I can't handle a handful of almonds by themselves, but chopped up in a salad or stir-fry they are delicious and with a small amount of dark chocolate they are a wonderful snack. 

If you have any great tips or ideas on how to incorporate these amazing foods into our diets, please, please share! I certainly don't pretend to know even close to everything and I'm always learning from others, too! 

Until next time...Live holy and wholly! 

What is Whole Food Nutrition, Anyway? Part 3

I hope you've enjoyed the first two parts of this series on whole food nutrition. Have you learned anything new? Have you been inspired to do some research to learn more about a topic? I sure hope so! If not, read on...perhaps, today will be the day!

Today I'm going to talk about grains. This is a topic that causes a LOT of confusion. I know I've certainly been confused about them...and quite frustrated! I've been told I should NEVER eat grains EVER! I've also been told I should eat 1 cup of grains every single day. Paleo lovers INSIST grains are terrible for you while Plant-strong Eater's sing their praises! So are they ok or not?

I believe the answer is the same as it was with Meat. Clearly grains were created for consumption. That's clear. However, some people will be able to digest them better than others. The rule of thumb (but not an absolute) is Type A, B and AB blood types are typically grain eaters while Type O would not digest grains as efficiently and should limit them. Again, this is just a starting point. You would need to pay close attention or get muscles tested to find out if grains are beneficial for you and your family.

If you want to become familiar with all grains available for you and your family here's a great resource http://www.wholegrainscouncil.org/whole-grains-101/whole-grains-a-to-z . Of course, whole grains have health benefits but processed grains are not beneficial to the body as their nutrients have been removed. If you choose to eat grains, always choose the whole version...choose organic whenever possible.

My personal favorite grain is brown rice. I like soaking my brown rice for 12 hours (overnight) before cooking to make it more digestible. I also use non-GMO corn for my family (excluding myself as I'm allergic). I've also tried Amaranth and Millet, but they are a bit "grainy" for my taste. However, they are great choices for those who like the flavor.

Although Quinoa is not actually a grain (it's a seed) most people consider it a part of the grain family because of it's flavor and texture. I use Quinoa often as it cooks quickly and is light and fluffy. I use it as an alternative to brown rice. I often put it in salads and pasta dishes! Not everyone in my home likes brown rice (although they eat it), but they all enjoy Quinoa. I use rice or quinoa as the main protein source when I want a vegetarian or vegan meal to serve that my whole family will eat without complaining! (Pictured: Quinoa in a delicious salad)

In Part 2 I mentioned two different Metabolic Types: Meat and Grain. If you are a Grain Metabolic Type your body can handle and requires a larger amount of grain intake than a Meat Metabolic Type. I'm a Meat Eater so I don't have grains any more than 1 time per day. If I do, I gain weight quickly and feel very sluggish. I also don't eat grains daily. I eat enough to provide variety and to keep me from feeling agitated but not enough to gain weight or become groggy. It's taken me some time and attention to figure out what works best for me. I've had to learn to pay attention to my body and watch how it reacts to these grains. It is recommended you not eat more than 1 cup of grains per day. Too many grains can cause unhealthy spikes in blood sugar levels requiring the pancreas to release insulin to bring blood sugar levels back down. Insulin is a fat producer, so causing the body to have to release large amounts will result in weight gain even for a grain eater. I prefer 1/2 cup servings when I eat grains.

Because so many people have a difficult time digesting wheat I don't recommend consuming it. However, if you do NOT have gluten intolerance, Celiac Disease or wheat allergy, you will be able to consume wheat in small amounts. Wheat has been HEAVILY modified from it's original version (called, Eincorn) and is no longer assimilated the way it was before being modified to withstand rougher climates. You may have gluten intolerance without knowing it. Click the following link to read a list of symptoms http://gluten-intolerance-symptoms.com/#gluten-intolerance-3 . If you have issues digesting gluten and you continue to consume it, it could lead to more serious issues. Removing gluten from the diet isn't easy, but it IS possible. Today, there is a tremendous amount of support and resources available to help those wanting to live a gluten free lifestyle.

One final note about gluten. There are other gluten containing grains to be aware of if you are avoiding gluten: Rye, Barley, Oats, Triticale and Kamut. If you are interested in finding out more about a gluten-free lifestyle I'd love to help you! Just let me know! Here's a GREAT resource http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/

Tomorrow, I'll address nuts, seeds and legumes. MANY of these foods have the power to turn your health around! Stay tuned...